7 Communication Rules with a Passive-Aggressive Interlocutor

Having a deal with him, you experience fatigue, irritation and mental confusion. You do not understand what is the reason, and begin to doubt yourself and your spiritual health. Most likely, the interlocutor behaves passively aggressively. What it means and how to cope with it, explains the psychologist Robert Sheiler.

Did you have that when communicating with some people it seems to you that you go crazy? You feel that out of you literally suck energy, but you can not understand what it is the case?

Everything happens so crowded that you start doubting your own actions and in our own spiritual health? Sometimes it seems to you that you got into a nightmare, where you try to escape, but get into a dead end where there is no way out.

How to learn to interact with passive aggressive people and stay in the right mind? Explains a psychologist, a specialist in working with couples Robert Sheiler.

How do they behave

Passive-aggressive people are able to knock out the soil from under the feet even those who are used to think rationally. They are not able to evaluate their own actions, so they are absolutely sure that they are all unfair and misunderstanding them.

But with any of your attempt to make a look at what is happening, they begin to actively resist and believe that your (and someone else) expectations from them completely unfounded.

This behavior is usually very annoying. But what actually happens to these people? They passively resist any expectations, requests or requirements to take responsibility for what they say or do, or, more often happens, do not. Of course, this adversely affects any relationship.

How to recognize passive aggressive people?

  • They most often negatively perceive all what is happening.
  • They often complain that they are underestimated or misunderstanding.
  • They never to blame.
  • They accuse you (and do it with pleasure) in everything, because, of course, you are to blame.
  • They are readily beginning to argue and feel a constant need to be right.
  • When events go wrong, they become sullen and closed and skillfully demonstrate their cold indifference.
  • They readily criticize situations, events, ideas, people. It neutralizes their fear to be inadequate.
  • They do not particularly respect authorities.
  • They are sure that they are unique in their sense of loneliness in the world of failures, they are all perceived from the position "Is it not terrible that he was so disgusting with me".
  • 7 Communication Rules with a Passive-Aggressive Interlocutor
  • They constantly move from open hostility to seemingly regret. You should take seriously the status of hostility.

What do you feel

When communicating with passive aggressive people, you constantly arise a sense of uncertainty. It seems that such people are completely unable to do something like it is necessary. They are constantly late, everyone forgets, heavy in communication – that is, they use all the hidden ways to get control over you or on the situation.

Passive-aggressive people are afraid of competition, dependence and close relationship. This situation can be called "Come closer, but do not try to approach me".

They can easily arrange chaos on scratch and secretly admire their own ability to do. For them, this embodies the power and control that they want to possess. Since they are not able to directly affect situations, feelings and relationships, they are trying to do it indirectly. And it gives rise to chaos.

They behave both at work, and at home, invent endless and seeming reasonable reasons that explain why they cannot do or have not done what expected from them. This especially gives out.

They can be called experts in procrastinations. It is difficult for them to interact with other people, so in some command projects they constantly pull and slow. Then suddenly fall, then they declare that they do not feel included in the team, they complain that they did not provide any information or that they did not know what they were expected from them.

Passive-aggressive people know how to find excuses for all occasions. And they themselves are sincerely believe in these reasons, therefore, with contempt, they treat everyone who doubues them. They are ready on a lot, just not to give others to see their weaknesses, and usually accuse others in their own failures. And this is the main distinguishing feature of a passive aggressive personality.

If you are involved in relationship with such a person, this is a real test for your psyche. Such behavior is usually based on a deep and very long-standing offense and omble. Unfortunately, most often a passive aggressive person is not aware of what makes. He refuses to recognize his behavior and its consequences as a cause of problems, especially when he starts to resist.

What underlies passive aggressive behavior?

Passive aggression – behavior manner at which anger manifestations are suppressed. People who behave passively aggressively, will not openly oppose what they do not like. Accumulated voltage requiring output manifests itself through the refusal to perform any action. Such a manner allows you to show aggression due to the fact that no "no" is expressed in a passive way.

Seven rules interaction

Communication with a passive aggressive person requires considerable composure. The following rules will help preserve calm and self-esteem:

1. Do not try to seek the causes of such behavior. Everything that seems obvious does not have any relationship to him.

2. Do not behave hostile to such a person, because it only poured oils into the fire.

3. Realize your borders, declare them, no matter what resistance are you experiencing. Firmly follow them.

4. Think about whether there is a share of your guilt in what is happening. If you decide that there is, admit it, but do not accept the rest.

5. Avoid response accusations. It will only aggravate the situation.

6. Remember that the focused on you passive-aggressive behavior does not actually apply to you and nothing about you. It will help you soften your own negative reaction.

7. Contact a specialist for help. This problem affects something more than only your relationship, and while you are involved in the situation, you will not be able to see it entirely. You need a professional who will help you both.

7 Communication Rules with a Passive-Aggressive Interlocutor

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