Happiness must be deserved?
The feeling of happiness is our natural right or a reward for good deeds and hard work? Smile Fortune or Retreat for experienced suffering? What is the merit of someone who is deeply satisfied with life, family, work and happy every new day? He walked for years to his goal or just "born in a shirt"?
The ability to be happy by 50% depends on congenital characteristics: from the warehouse of the personality, temperament, the brain structure – these are the results of a number of studies. This means that many of us since childhood feel happy / unhappy no matter what happens to us.
"And after all, our actions – what classes we choose, to which purposes are striving, as we communicate with people – they affect the world weight much more than it seems – the psychologist Tamara Gordeva believes. – Our personality is not asked, it is formed in the process of interaction with the world. You can say "I miss dofamins" and be sad about this. But if we start acting, the situation changes. First of all, we are very happy with meaningful and creative activity, especially those associated with other people and aimed – as it were, it sounded that it sounded – to change the world for the better ".
There are many behavioral strategies that help us feel more satisfied with life. Among them – the practice of gratitude, the use of their strengths and the ability to appreciate positive experiences. Of the more significant – the ability to maintain warm relationships based on respect and adoption, and in communication to choose actively-constructive ways of response. It means to empathize and rejoice, clarify, ask questions, to be entirely involved in the situation.
Another way to happiness leads through the ability to cooperate with the world, keeping calm, not falling into a panic and not fear of difficulties. "The key principle is of interest in life that distracts us from excessive experiences and anxiety," Tamara Gordeev notes. – When we are fixated on ourselves and are inattentive to others, we will rather feel unhappy ".
To someone who is from nature or thanks to family education is balanced, open, friendly, it is easier to follow these strategies. Others have to work on their worldview and relationships with others: deliberately refuse non-readed desires, make useful habits, for example, to remember three good events that happened in the evening. And then life will bring more satisfaction.
Another question is how justified by such a goal – to become happy. "The more we strive for happiness, the further leave him," the psychologist explains. – Goals are better to choose, focusing on your values ". If your goals are more likely to "be" category, and not "to have" are related to personal growth, the development of competences or relations with others – in this case, happiness approaches.