"I can not finish toxic relationships"

Broke up with a man on his initiative. He came, but we continued to communicate on his terms. Man he is not surrender and removed. It appeared, then disappeared for several weeks. Explained it with an depressed state and depression.

Sexual relations continued, I could not say "no", although it was a feeling that I enjoy me. Many times started talking about what I also have emotional needs and such an attitude does not suit that I want specifics. In response, the man was silent, ignored or answered: "I don’t know what to do".

Passed a year from parting, and the situation never changed. I wore anxiety, I ceased to engage in loved ones, because there is no energy. It seems to understand that such relationships do not affect me badly, but I can not finally cut off this connection. I agree to a bad attitude towards myself and despise myself for. I do not know where to dig, what to do to move everything from a dead point.

Such relationships as you described, Renata, I would call the emotional abuse. And with the abuser it is not so easy. I do not know why you need such suffering, but I can assume that they decide some important problem.

Reasons can be a lot. The lack of love in childhood generates the need for it, and those painful relationships that were then affecting you and now. There is a tough installation: "I am unworthy of something better, more and therefore I accept what is".

I can not finish toxic relationships

Parting with close man always brings pain. Rarely separation is easy. As a rule, the relationship is broken and leave wounds of different sizes. Someone is delayed faster, and someone needs years to survive the incident. In your case, the initiative belonged to the other side, then you were not ready for this. And the surprise forced you to be afraid of pain parting and agree to the surrogate of relations.

Why do they arrange you – a question for deeper awareness and elaboration. Your partner has such relationships like: he created them and continues to support. But what fear keeps you with him? After all, instead of leaving a partner who does not suit you and so applies to you, and find new love, you cling to him, although they suffer.

Contempt for me? Why it is you? And it would not be better to change the "minus" to the "plus" and treat it carefully and with understanding? You have one, you have no other internal resource, and you spend it on a person who uses you. Understand and take your fears – the challenge is the main thing for you at the moment. And knowing the enemy (that is, your fears) in the face, you can start and fight against them.

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