"I want to go to the lover, but I’m afraid of change"

Two years ago another appeared. For the first time fell in love. But he lives in another city, good work, here will not move. Calls to me. And I do not decide. After five moves because of her husband, I do not want to move anywhere anywhere, I need stability. So live. I can not make decisions from which you would feel happy.

On the one hand, it’s nice when life gives us new chances. And on the other, the new is always about the unknown, instability, about changes. After all, to decide to take a step, you need to agree with the idea that as it was before, no longer.

It seems that you feel good in how it is now, and you do not want to lose it – it is so familiar and, it means safe. And the emergence of a new person, even if he lives in the same city, would mean exit from the comfort zone.

What do you really want to: leave everything as it is or step into an unknown new? I think that this is necessary to formulate the question.

When weighing their decision, questions often help:

What will happen if I do it?

What will happen if I don’t do it?

What will not be if I do it?

I want to go to the lover, but I'm afraid of change

What will not be if I do not do this?

As for the need to move to another city, which stability you are afraid to lose? It’s rather about work, friends, or something else? Maybe it’s not in fear of instability, but simply fearful, that suddenly everything works out or what it does not work, and then?

It is very important to understand what you are afraid of which frightening picture yourself draw yourself to understand how to continue with it, how to take care of it.

I notice that you set a question to the edge: move or stay. But perhaps you still have no information enough to accept this decision. Do you need to move again? Do you know this very well this person to accept such a decision now? And besides this, do you like the city, is there any opportunity there?

Sometimes it is useful to make "Train Training": to go to another city / apartment for a while. Just first come for a couple of days, then perhaps a week, month, 3 months – and feel like you. To start mastering, it is not necessary to move to the commencement, carrying all your things.

I want to go to the lover, but I'm afraid of change

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