"I was ashamed that was a bad mother, but I also appeal to me."
Daughter calls me a terrible mother, which for all his life finger about the finger did not hit to make something good for her. I agree, I’m not the most exemplary mother, all my life, in my stupidity and stupidity, broke the evil on the child. But the fact is that I was also brought up in childhood. And other way of education I, unfortunately, did not know. Now I realize it, and I feel very bad and shame. It seems that you can not change anything. Sometimes you don’t want to live.
Gulnara, 51 years
Gulnara, I’m sure you tried to be a good mother as much as they could. You have rethought a lot and today would have led themselves differently, but then you did what they considered the best.
We often forget that mom is not a car to raise children, that she also has feelings, emotions, desire. Mom can also get tired, worry, scream, get upset. Including breaking. So it was happening and will. Just because we all have the right to feel.
Now you have the opportunity to dialogue with my daughter. While time on your side, you can recognize your mistakes if you see those. Perhaps in something the daughter will not agree with you – this is her right. Your right – confess, apologize if desired. Do not require an instant forgiveness from it, its insult seems to last for years and so simply will not go anywhere. But in this situation, the best thing that can happen is – a conversation, sincere and honest. Speak, let yourself experience different emotions – but do not forget to let them and daughter. I believe that in the end you can forgive each other all the mistakes.
By the way, in such a dialogue can help a psychotherapist or mediator. Family therapy is not only a resolution of conflicts in a pair, it affects all levels of relations, including between the parent and adult child. The third participant of your dialogue can support both parties, as well as help cope with the flow of feelings and resist in a difficult dialogue.