"Who am i?»Mikhail Labkovsky on how to find yourself
How good you are familiar with you? You can say for sure who you are not subject to the influence of labels and stereotypes that surrounding you are hung? If not, then you have been too far away from yourself. And to blame for this complexes and fears.
"Who you are?"," What are you?"," Your personality is from what it consists?"- I am sure you are accustomed to reading psychological literature and reflecting, and therefore you can safely answer these questions without going into reasoning. Each of us consists of experience, self-identification, your own past, talents.
All this is understandable. But not in the last place in this list are "personalized problems": complexes, fears, phobias, behavioral features or even flaws like aggressiveness or indecision.
They are also part of our personality or not? Let’s understand.
Portrait of an artist in his youth
Many of us are convinced that personality form circumstances. Failures, pain, loss – they are all imprinted on our "I" and create what we love to call the character. Freudism and psychoanalym fans as a whole will not be promised to add to the list and education, and injuries, and all kinds of parental mistakes. And with this, perhaps you will not argue.
But the question remains open: whether it is worth it to get out with it as with a mandatory part of yourself? Exist, without going beyond the "specified parameters", the destruction of which years of therapy. Everyone has his answer to him.
Personally, I am sure that a person comes to this light for happiness and joy. Read – for life itself. Being a baby, he is trusting, open, able to love, confident in herself. But he grows, and happens to him. Actually, life happens. They were not told there, here it was not compared here, here he stuck.
And make sense to seek no. Parents? First, they are, what: speakers in psychological magazines were not read, did not go to therapy. Secondly, they could want as better, but due to their own anxiety, which they tried not to demonstrate, in order not to cripple your psyche, I was none of love. So you grew a turbulent person.
Could happen and so that parents had to leave the baby in the hospital for some time. There they made unpleasant medical manipulations with him, but exclusively from the best motives – to save the lives and keep health. And in the end, the parents took the little neurotic.
For clarity, let’s imagine twins. One as a child bit the dog, and the other, say, licked, happily wagging the tail. One shropotal fright for life, the other was attached to the four-leg.
I am confident that similar "biographies’ prints" form not at all, but some, relatively speaking, "illness". Something like a rash on the face, which is not visible to the real color of your skin. And if one day decide for yourself that you want to get rid of it, to make it will be quite real.
Just imagine: you can take and start living. Do not exist, do not survive, do not adapt. Not looking around fearful: how would not. Do not urge yourself: Well, where to me, with my abilities. And just do what you like. Build relationships bringing pleasure. Work where comfortable where you are "in place": do what you like, get as much as you need.
I am convinced: to achieve this, it is not necessary to open the past and remember all the dogs that you have ever treated. I suggest another: learn how to exist right now as a healthy person without pain and problems.
How to do it? To start asking yourself, what do you want for breakfast to understand your taste preferences. Wonder: "If I don’t want to work again, I do what I have always dreamed about?"
You can learn how to build a happy relationship only thanks to the ability to tear those that do not bring you joy. You can start to engage in your favorite thing, just learning to silence what you really like, and what they do, because it is prestigious and monetary. Or because the personnel says that this sphere will be on the rise.
Start listening to yourself today, now. Your inner voice, opinion, desire and preferences – the only thing you have. This is your life – live it as you want.