Who and why irritate nursing mothers

When we see a woman, nursing breasts, we are confronted with gamut of contradictory feelings. Someone covers a wave of tenderness and lunizing, and someone can not resist rude remark. Why is this happening and what to do about it?

It seems nothing causes such fierce disputes on social networks, as a question "How do you feel about mothers that breastfeed in the public?". Users are attributed to opponents in turn, then cruelty, then craving for exhibitionism, then increased species, then reduced social responsibility. Why breastfeeding still confuses us, despite the fact that we do this time impact?

Chest plus, chest minus

Women’s breasts throughout the history of mankind – at least, of the part of the story that written sources documented – perceived alternately as "bad", as "good".

"When the chest recognized" good ", the focus was made that she feeds babies or, allegorically, religious or political community. So it was five thousand years ago, when in many Western and Middle Eastern cultures, people worshiped female idols, "writes the historian Marilyn Yal in the book" Breast History "1 .

"Bad" – sinful, dirty – became when the focus focused on a sexy aspect. "When the concept of" bad "breast was dominated, it became a tool of temptation and even aggression," the author explains.

It should be borne in mind that such judgments did not endure the women themselves, but men: poets and doctors, politicians and clergymen. Researchers know extremely little evidence of how women belonged to part of the body, which actually belongs to them.

"In the past, feeding and sensuality was considered an antitheaste … The Renaissance Institute appeared in the Renaissance Epoch, and the chest of representatives of the highest classes were intended only for sex, and the chest of low-class representatives – for breastfeeding," says Marilyn Yalla. What happens today?

Today we still get contradictory messages about why we are actually breasts. On the one hand, psychologists and pediatricians do not get tired to remind that breastfeeding is extremely important for the child, and for mom. In addition to the benefit from substances that contain milk, natural feeding helps to establish safe affection between mother and baby. Physical contact, which is accompanied by natural feeding on demand, has a positive effect on the rate of emotional development of the child.

On the other hand, advertising and media continue to exploit exciting, frankly sexy female images – and chest, of course, is given special attention. Fashion and beauty industry produce a huge amount of funds and devices that are designed to improve the appearance and state of this part of the body. Cosmetic care, plastic and other "decorations" of the chest sometimes imputed to the woman in charge.

It turns out, this part of the body in our time is still located between two lights. And the requirements for it are still contradictory. Let’s try to figure out what to do with it.

Therefore, scary

During the rebirth in France, there was a special kind of poems called "Blazon". He was a detailed laudatory description of the parts of the female body. Here you and comparisons with apples, and leather shade of alabaster, and smoothness, and perfection of sizes.

In contrast to this type of poems, there was another, in which roughly, physiologically described the same parts of the female body. "The chest is just skin. Sloggy breast, chest like a rag, "wrote the poet Cleman Maro. Surprisingly similar to the turnover, which is used in their speech, those who are scary shocking the type of nursing, is not? "Blue Vienna", "driging skin" and "terrible swollen nipples" from social networks would quite find a place in the work of the poet of the Renaissance era.

Where do such reactions come from? "The origin of the chest gave men the opportunity to express through women’s breasts, hips, knees, feet, stomach, heart and genitals their own subconscious trouble due to the fact that all people are mortals. Much better to define and ridiculous a female body than to study the anatomy of his own ugliness and physical wilt, "explains Marilyn Yalla.

Not only men are afraid of withering and death, from here and many comments that leave "happy wives and mothers", which, in theory, should support other women. So maybe we just want to abstract from frightening history? Not see what reminds of life cycles, that someone comes, and someone leaves? Forget that our body is fragile and imperfect?

Rules are changing

"Can a woman breastfeed in public? Previously, let’s say, 20 years ago, a public contract said: This process should occur behind closed doors, away from foreign eyes and closer to the home hearth. However, now the rules are revised. Nowadays, more and more women do not consider the home focus the only place where they would like to be implemented, "says a bodily-oriented therapist and sexologist Ekaterina Antropova.

The one who is indignant by the presence of women with breasts in public places forgets that moms with children are also part of society. And they have exactly the same rights as any of us. Insulation within the apartment, interrupted only by visiting the children’s clinic, shop and platform, may affect the mental state of the woman not in the best way.

"Often young mothers feel like dropping out of the cluster. Their life before birth was very saturated, and now there is a lot of routine. And then they take a child with themselves and go back to the big world – go to exhibitions and lectures, walk with friends, meet with close in the cafe, "explains the therapist. Naturally, the baby cannot for the time "Turn off" its needs.

"The child is all this time next, and it is necessary to feed it often, – Reminds Ekaterina Antropova. – Mother and baby rooms are not everywhere. A dilemma arises before mom: feed the child here or rush home through the traffic jams to do it alone? Naturally, more and more women chooses the first option and exposed to these attacks. It seems to me that these unfair attacks are: more and more modern women do not want to lock in the four walls, raising the baby, and have full law ".

Meeting of two reality

Who and why irritate nursing mothers

"The ability to feed and the ability to excite still compete with each other, determining the fate of a woman," writes Marilyn Yulla. And even if our chest attached a baby, this struggle does not stop. At least not for everyone.

"Some supporters of feeding in public places are confident: chest, if it is fed, is not considered a sex object. In the subjective reality of a nursing mother, it is likely to. Especially if after delivery she feels a decline in sex at all, "explains Ekaterina Antropova. But for other people, the breast of a nursing woman can be an erotic object, and the child has a breast of this fact does not cancel.

"The presence of a baby is an indisputable sign of fertility, and it is associated with sexuality directly," the expert clarifies. Some moms who are fed in public miss this moment from sight. They want others to relate delicately to their position and experiences, but do not think that the "bare breakfast" witnesses also have experiences with whom it should be delicate.

"The surrounding Will-Neils receive a certain erotic signal with which they must somehow come around – for example, to experience excitation or suppress it. Someone realizes what exactly happens to him. And someone remains at the level of unconscious, replacing its arousal, for example, irritation is, by the way, a frequent case, "says Ekaterina Antropova.

So it would be nice first to ask yourself: "Why am I ashamed or unpleasant to me if I see a woman with a baby in his chest? What exactly I’m still experiencing?"In any case, rough comments are worth keeping with you.

Shock therapy

Supporters of natural feeding sometimes arrange shares: women are going together and feed children in parks, shopping centers, cafe. The main goal of such meetings is to support each other, to communicate about your experience in a friendly atmosphere. But also the popularization of breastfeeding, the desire to give the image of a nursing woman the status of the usual, not "indecent", also play an important role.

Often, photos of these meetings are called in social networks a storm. "There are women who turn feeding into an appultage act. Power supply is an intentional provocation that shocking behavior contrary to the standards adopted in society. In this case, the shocking is designed to tell the public that his attitude towards young mothers and their needs is outdated and needs a change, "explains Ekaterina Antropova.

"In my opinion, this is true: it is outdated and needs," she says. – But provocation, it seems to me, in this case plays against young mothers. Shocking behavior (but it is so perceived by feeding at the bottom, without special clothes) causes aggression – and this is a natural reaction. People read the following message: "I don’t care about you, I will ignore your rules and act, as it is convenient for me," and it causes the internal protest ".

When the public paradigm changes, these changes are often accompanied by shocks. The shares of the soul fusion in the late XIX – early 20th century were shocked, but largely due to the actions of these ladies today women can participate in elections, work, divorce. But then the opponents wrote about them angry Paskvili, the police arrested, family members could refuse reciprocal relatives. Fortunately, it is unlikely that today loved ones will stop communicating with women, if those will be publicly done what time for centuries, that is, feed baby breasts without shame.

To regulate the most serious disputes and misconducts, we have a criminal code. But there are no articles for public feeding in it. So can we dictate an adult capable person what he can do and what can not if it comes to an offense? And at the same time – can we dictate to another that he should feel?

The admissibility of breastfeeding in the public is the question of not only culture, but also traditions. And they still have to be transformed with the realities of modernity. And, it seems, we just witnessed the notorious "era of change". So, both parties will have to negotiate. And this dialogue will not be easy.

Who and why irritate nursing mothers

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