Who are such pedophiles in fact?
Each week, television issues bring plots, listen to which is almost impossible: kidnapped, killed, the child is raped, the network of children’s pornography distributors is revealed. Who and why it turns out to be capable of such actions?
In recent months, we learned that only a dozen children became victims of criminals in Russia. Many opinions unconditionally: pedophiles are monsters, not worthy of condescension. Our feelings – a mixture of anger, rage, fear and powerlessness. It is difficult for us to believe that many of these people are patients who can be treated ..
But this is how psychologists and psychiatrists say. Who are such pedophiles in fact? What causes their illness? What children risk becoming their victims? And how to behave to us to protect your child?
"Pedophilia is a sexual disorder, a disease that manifests itself in permanent erotic fantasies and actions against children under 13 years old *," says the doctor, the trial psychiatrist Inna Ushakov. – sexual actions against the child (and the victims of pedophiles can be like girls and boys) – it is primarily stroking genitals or oral sex. Vaginal or anal intercourse with a child, including violence, is rare, except when pedophilia is burdened by more serious mental disorders: schizophrenia, epilepsy, senile dementia ".This is a proven fact: not only mentally ill people experience sexual arousal from the children’s body. When parents dress the daughter on the occasion of the holiday, there is always an uncle, a cousin who will notice: "It will grow up – it will be a heart!"This example is an illustration that the man’s archaic brain can" see "in the girl’s girl," says the French psychiatrist Roland Cutanceau (Roland Coutanceau). – There are much more people who can arouse children than you can imagine. But this does not mean that every adult person who has sexual fantasies about the child immediately wants to implement them. Danger is not in fantasies, but in the immaturity of the psyche. Some pedophiles will never make attacks, because they have a fairly developed mental organization that does not allow them to do that ". Here it is appropriate to hold a parallel with a heterosexual man: if he fantasies about some woman, it does not mean that he will immediately stick to her.
Who moves to action
And yet there are people who are ready not only to fantasize sexual acts with a child, but also try to realize their fantasies. "Some of them take a long way from fantasies to action," says Inna Ushakov. – They are aware of all immorality and anti-infractions of their intentions, experiencing severe internal conflict. But ultimately, the excitement and attraction to the child begin to prevail over the moral prohibitions, and over fear to be caught. A special group of pedophiles are people who are not just committing depraved actions with a child, but they are raping them (often killing). They do not belong to their desires and actions against children, do not perceive their behavior as something terrible, immoral, criminal. As a rule, in addition to pedophilia, they have serious psychiatric diagnoses ".
Separate theme: incest
"Public opinion is convinced that all adults who rape or seduce children – people mentally ill, – Says a sexologist and psychologist Igor Kon. – In fact, most seductors are ordinary men, married and having children. Fathers and stepms that disappear and raping their own children, to other children, as a rule, do not stick. They have little in common with pedophiles and sexy maniacs ".
You can allocate common psychological features characteristic of pedophiles. They are characterized by low self-esteem, uncertainty in itself as in a sexual partner, fear of communication with adult women. They are uncommunicable, anxious, bugles, are not able to restrain their impulses. These personality features are influenced by several factors. "Most pedophiles in childhood were victims of violence," says Inna Ushakov. – They were beaten, humiliated, raped, they survived incest.
And now, becoming adults, in their sexual actions they either reproduce their traumatic experience (consciously or unconsciously revenge for the past pain and humiliation), or do not consider their actions in immoral and unlawful. In childhood, they themselves were an object of sexual exploitation, and in their psyche could be recorded that having sex with a child – this is normal ". In addition, many pedophiles survived traumatic experience in adolescence when adult sexuality is formed. "The first sex experience of a pedophile is often unsuccessful, – explains the clinical psychologist Sergey Yenikopov. – In the past, he could reject the woman, and in a coarse form, he could suffer a humiliating failure and subjected to ridiculous partners. Many this may be so injured that they stop at infantile eroticism. When experienced violence is connected, a problem transitional age and a disharmonary personality (for which instability and impulsiveness is characteristic), the mixture may be explosive.
Treatment or punishment?
Pedophilia treat psychiatrists and sexologist. However, the problem is that those who find attraction to children (fantasies about sexual act with a child, sexual satisfaction from child pornography, the desire to look at the child’s body or touch it), rarely appeal for help from experts. They are ashamed to confess in their fantasies, they are afraid that their problem may be incurable, fear that the doctor will condemn them, reject or report them to law enforcement agencies.
And these people are increasingly falling into the power of their illness. So pedophiles become "clients" not doctors, but by policemen. "Working with pedophiles begins after they were caught, – Inna Ushakov explains. – Since most of them are recognized by mentally sane people, they go to the place of imprisonment, where nobody treats them. It is worth it for such a person to get free, the likelihood that after some time he will repeat his crime again ".
Treatment of pedophiles (individually and in groups) is conducted in several directions. Psychologists, psychotherapists, doctors help suffering a pedophilia to work out their own traumatic history, to understand the reason for attracting children (fear of having adult partners, insecurity) and control their impulses.
To be able to say "no"
I have to admit: sexual crimes disclosed by law enforcement agencies – only the upper part of the iceberg, there is a lot of those who make such actions absolutely impunity. "As a rule, pedophiles unmistakably find victims who will not talk about what happened to them – Sergey Yenikolopov is sure. – It may be unreleased or neglect children who just have no one to complain. Often these are teenagers who are ready to experience the first sexual experience and which intrigues communicating with adults. Often the victims of pedophiles become children of dominant parents – they do not know how or are afraid to say "no" to an adult man ". We should remember: even outside the "risk group" a victim of a pedophile can become any child or teenager, regardless of age, mental and mental development.
* According to the international classification of diseases (DSM) adopted by the doctors of many countries of the world.
How to protect the child from pedophiles
"In this matter, I don’t need a protective strategy – how to protect children from sexual encroachments, but positive – how to provide them with mental and sexual health and well-being, – Igor Kon. – Main funds for this – parental love and warm emotional atmosphere in the family, allowing children not to feel lonely and keep confidence in parents. One of the important elements of a confidential family atmosphere is respect for the personal bodily space of a child, to his sexuality, attentive attitude to its manifestations, the desire to understand his desires and find acceptable forms of their implementation ". So, the intolerance of the parents to the sexual interests of the child, the punishment for masturbation or the viewing of erotic pictures increase the likelihood that one day he ventures risky experiments.
Girls and boys, and from an early age, it is necessary to warn that some contacts with adults should be avoided. To explain to them that no prepositions can take gifts or money from an unfamiliar person, to take an invitation to go home to him, in the cinema, in a cafe – no matter how seductive or reasonable, these suggestions. It is necessary to talk about it tactfully, by the way, without intimidating the child and not awakening in it painful suspicion towards people and their own sexuality.